It’s been a while since I posted an update on my heartspace….Really, it was four years of healing, and of processing the lessons of my first go at long-term partnership-turned marriage, and of dating (first a ton, and then barely), and of getting clear about the partnership and partner I want… since leaving my ex at the end of 2005. Lying fallow.

Last spring, during a sorry-ass sick-of-being-single stint, I hauled out some old photo albums, going back to my college days. One image stopped me: it was my flame from senior year, an utterly beautiful and brilliant boy, pinning me down on the ground, my smile so wide it could crack the earth in two, totally blissed out and secure in his arms.

That feeling! I want that feeling again, I said. I pulled the photo out of the album and stuck it on my altar, next to my most magnetic objects. It wasn’t the boy in the photo I focused on (the boy, last I’d heard, was still happily married and fathering, and we’d had no direct communication for 14 years), it was the joy and ease. The bliss, trust.

So… I do believe we co-create and alter the life around us as we live and experience it. I believe that we–those of us privileged enough to be able to dedicate the necessary energy– can pull a certain aspect of reality into being by will and focus. But–could I have conjured a man “off my altar and into my arms,” as one friend put it?

Because almost exactly a month after that, I got an email from the boy in the photo. Subsequent emails revealed he was separating from his wife, while I was well underway with a move… to the city where he happened to live. And ever since then, we’ve been revelling in our re-discovery. Magic.